[Go here if you would like to read or listen to this article in Dutch on Spiritueelleiderschap.nu]
Even the most successful people are feeling insecure now and then, or are having thoughts such as “Is it good enough what I am doing?” and “What are they really thinking about me?”.
Perhaps you are recognizing yourself in this as well. Like focusing on what people are thinking about you or getting feedback that you could show a little more confidence.
These insecure moments are often triggered by an old memory of yourself. My personal theme is “being good enough”. It all started at the age of six. It was the first day in grade one and the teacher wanted to verify our levels. She was asking: who knows what is 2 + 2? Most children knew, but I did not.
I felt stupid and instantly decided: this is never going to happen again. It has brought me many good things, I became an eager student, finalized two studies (of which one even cum laude) and started a successful career.
However, I also paid a price: the ability of being myself in an uncomplicated way. Every single time my automatic reaction of “fix it, make it better!” was triggered on these moments I was experiencing I just wasn’t good enough .
Nowadays this isn’t an automatic reaction anymore. I have a choice in how I respond, as I am in a deeper contact with myself. My level of self-confidence has increased tremendously.
The word self-confidence has an interesting meaning. It simply means: trusting yourself. The “yourself” is standing for the broadest way you could look at this word, including trusting who you really are.
Self-confidence is sometimes being confused with being egocentric or arrogant. It has nothing to do with that. However, fear is taking over if you choose your actions thinking “I know better”, or when you trying to be good enough. It affects the way of expressing yourself. It’s in your talking and reacting, and the people around you are just having a nose for this. They will sense this is not the real you.
Boosting your self-confidence is being proud on who you are, including your shadow sides. These “mistakes” are an essential part of the unique person you are. You can only be completely yourself when fully embracing who you are.
I am inviting you to get to know yourself better by doing activities every day, which increase your self-awareness and self-confidence. See below for some examples:
- Write down what you are grateful for, what you are good at and what you like about yourself.
- Spend a little bit of time by yourself, every day.
- Go hiking in nature.
- Just feel if your body needs exercise, or if it needs to rest. Listen to that feeling.
- Try something new; a new hobby or something, which you are wondering how it would be if you would just do it.
- Follow a course in personal development or find a great coach.
- Share your personal development with the people you love most. You’ll be amazed how many others are dealing with this same issue.
It is time to get up and take your stand. Take the risk of being who you really are. You’ll be experiencing the world will embrace you.
I would love to hear what you need to stay in contact with yourself, being proud on who you are. Just leave a message here.
This article is placed in Dutch on Spiritueelleiderschap.nu