Three things to know when turning ineffective communication into effective communication

Remember that last time when  your colleague, manager or family had totally freaked out after you had sent out a clear message? Their reaction was not at all proportional to the content, and your communication appeared unsuccessful.They totally had misunderstood you. Perhaps you even felt like blaming the other for what just happened there. Or perhaps you felt like having a 50% responsibility for this communication.

I would like to share with you an insight that might feel uncomfortable, but is incredibly powerful:  you are 100% responsible for how your message is being perceived. Not 50 or 70%, but completely 100%.

Just let it sink in for a minute … It sounds like a huge responsibility doesn’t it? And yet, exactly because of that 100% responsibility, you are placing yourself in an  extremely powerful place to be.

There are 3 things to know when you are taking leadership and turning ineffective communication into effective communication:

1. The success of your communication is 100% dependent on how it has been received, and not how it has been sent!

Your may have perfect intentions, but if your message has not been understood, then the simple conclusion here is that your communication was not optimally aligned with your discussion partner. So next time, just verify what happened when your are getting a totally unexpected response.

2. You are living in your own reality, so is everybody else.

There is no right or wrong. It may sound perfectly logical to you, but that doesn’t mean it is logical for other people as well. Next time, just take a minute and ask yourself “how would he/she experience this?”.

3. You are having your own preference in how you are communicating.

Just think of the amount of words you need to explain something, the directness, are you talking about what you think or about what you are feeling? Before sending out your message, just ask yourself “what is the preferred communication style of the other?”. It is very powerful to adjust your language to what works.

I am curious to know how you feel about taking that 100% responsibility for effective communication, and what you are going to do with this insight. Please let me know by leaving a message.

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